Things are finally starting to turn around in this life of mine. I finally have a job again. After a month of searching and wondering and losing a lot of money, i finally got back to work. I�had to take my job back at wendyapos;s. I really didnapos;t want to but i couldnapos;t going on living without an income. My savings has been hit big time over the past month. I have to come up with $1700 in 6 months to pay my car insurance. That is pretty much near impossible. But regardless it is good to get back to work. Going to work makes me feel better about myself and my abilities. It gives me something to do and something to strive for. It gives me a sense of purpose in this life. After work i usually feel satified and at peace. I am better able to focus on my school work when i have a job.
Along with finally getting back to work, things are alot better with nikkie now that her class is over with. She is alot less stressed out then she used to be and so much happier. Alll i had to do was wait it out and things will get better. Sheapos;s not such a hard person to get along with when sheapos;s not in a bad mood. But when she is in a bad mood she is alittle hard to deal with. But i guess everybody has a side like that. I heard a good quote today that pretty much describes the situation "�if you canapos;t handle me at my worst, you donapos;t deserve me at my best" - marlyn monroe. If i am not man enough to confort nikkie when she is stressed i am not good enough to be her lover.
Also i realized i blew things a little out of porportion last week.�Things arenapos;t�so fucked up as i thought they were. Yes nikkie does get a little nasty sometimes but she is generally a very sweet person and i love her. Everybody has thier faults, everybody gets angry. There are women alot harder to handle then her. I shoudl consider myself lucky. I just need to work on�being there for her more often and not getting so offended at what she says or does. I need to toughen up a bit I have to be her man. Also this week nikkie brought up the fact that i shouldnapos;t be paying for her all the time and that she doesnapos;t mind paying. When i heard that a lot of my annimosity toward her faded away. It put a human face on a female body. That really showed alot to me. I�love being the man and i love taking care of her, i jsut wanted her to show me she is willing to pay. That she can understand i am not rich. That she is a person not just a women.�I want a bestfriend out of my girlfriend not just� a pretty face.
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